Photo by lalesh aldarwish on

OfferUp is weird. To clarify, I’m talking about the craiglist-ish app, not the redemptive meaning of suffering. Some things I post on OfferUp are on fire there. For example, an old Ikea desk, the surface of which was blistered from years of cold drinks with no coasters? A war damn near broke out for that one. People got angry when I told them somebody else was going to look at it first.

Rusted 5-year-old beach cruiser that was a rental at one point and has sand on it? Sold that for close to what I bought it for.

Other things don’t move. Things with actual resale value. Basically, what I’ve found is that you can’t sell nice things on OfferUp. Brand new Rowenta Steamer, rarely used, that costs about $100, for $20? Crickets.

I had some sweet Lego sets that I was reluctantly going to part ways with. Those would not budge on OfferUp. It seems that eBay is the place to sell collectibles.

You can only sell borderline garbage on OfferUp. As a rule of thumb, if you could give it away to a friend, it won’t sell on OfferUp.

So is it a ragtag group of misfits out there shopping on OfferUp? No! That was the next surprise. People were rolling up to my curb to buy my weathered, bachelor hand-me-down, Ikea trash in new Audi SUVs.

So here’s two things I hope you’ve learned about OfferUp: 1) Don’t try to sell nice things there. 2) Buy your furniture there, and you will be able to afford a new Audi.

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